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The League of Super Teachers | Leon Idelchik
The League of Super Teachers
by Leon Idelchik
Every year superhero movies get released to masses of teens ready to go and happily overpay for crummy seats, light induced seizures and popcorn with enough butter in it to consider going on a diet. In the same vein every year, school gets released on children all around the country. These things have next to no connection. School is monotonous and often boring while the movies are full of adventure and entertainment, not to mention Jennifer Lawrence. So in order to make school a little bit more fun, we are going to see what would happen if we were to insert heroes into our schools staff.
Now a couple of guidelines to start (I know comic book fans are usually very understanding and kind, so this is just a precaution). First, don’t get mad if your favorite superhero doesn’t make the list. My editor doesn’t give me much time to write and while I’m sure you would love to know how Elongated Man or Howard the Duck fair as educators many don’t share that same curiosity. Second, realism is out the window, this is one comic book nerd talking to a whole bunch of comic book nerds, if you want realism you have a better shot finding it on the planet Krypton. Third and finally, this is merely an opinion piece of someone with way too much free time on their hands, if you have opinions of your own please send them too IDontCare@NobodyDoes.com and I will take them into consideration.
James “Logan” Howlett Alias:(Wolverine)
Physical Education Teacher
Calls people “Bub”
Regenerative powers, Adamantium Skeleton, Pointy Bone Claws
Pros
Master of war tactics and advanced strategy means no problem with coming up with a lesson plan
Really really really old, but totally jacked
Cons
Alcoholism
A little racist (WW2 and all)
Bruce Wayne Alias:(Batman)
Social Science Teacher
Loves to brood
Expert in martial arts, bat belt with literally anything
Pros
Vast knowledge of ancient history
Uses fear as a weapon for discipline (Trust me everytime I see him I need to change my underwear)
Cons
The classroom is always dark
Likes kids a little too much
Barry Allen Alias:(The Flash)
Science Professor
Eats enough to feed the whole school
Super fast, rudimentary knowledge of science
Pros
An actual scientist
Super speed allows him to take tardy kids to school, literally.
Cons
Eats a lot, the room always smells like a combination of pizza and melted ice cream
To fast for his own good. He knocks over equipment
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Charles Xavier Alias:(Professor X)
English and the liberal arts
Don’t let the bald head fool you, he used to be a studmuffin.
Psychic, Mind Reading
Pros
An actual professor, phd from Oxford and everything
An ex-principal, knows how to work with kids
Cons
Student privacy is a concern, mind reading makes privacy very difficult
The WW2 PTSD can get in the way of teaching
Tony Stark Alias:(Ironman)
Mathematics
“Yeah, I can fly”
Iron suit, loads of money, sarcasm
Pros
He’s smart, like really really smart. Math is child’s play from basic algebra to advanced calculus he will learn it all in one night
The suit makes a good first impression
Cons
The sarcasm can get very grating. “No I don’t have a ball of lead stuck between my ears”
He drinks whiskey like water