Is Romance Dead? | Mia Podlich

“Is romance dead?" Throughout recent years, this question has been on the rise. In an increasingly digital age, many people are beginning to question whether love is in the cards for them, or state they are unhappy with their current love life. This raises the debate: Is romance actually dead or is the extent to which people want to be loved completely unattainable?

Chick flicks, a specific genre of film catered towards female audiences, largely contain plotlines following an extravagant love. These movies directly reflect female interests and are historically released around Valentine's Day. While those who watch these types of romance movies can see higher satisfaction rates in relationships, many people reported that these movies raised their standards too high, according to a study done by DearBorn.org. This leads people to either give up on love entirely, abandon relationships due to disappointment, or even cause mass stratification in existing relationships. Furthermore, these chick flick movies always lead to a happy ending and dramatic, fantasy-like love, disregarding the hard work and communication necessary in relationships. Therefore, while chick flicks such as “10 Things I Hate About You” and “The Notebook” are enjoyable, they shouldn’t be considered a norm or a realistic possibility for those looking for love. Consequently, this leads people to believe romance is dead because it doesn’t reflect what they see on the screen.

Is romance being deemed too feminine? This question was posed because of the current trends in media and dating, and through novels mostly written by women authors. The media has often marketed romance towards women, specifically young girls, with certain genres catering to their demographic. Furthermore, social media outlets have delved further into why men don’t consume romance media to the extent women do, and it comes to the root of the problem. Since a young age, most girls have come to accept media from a male perspective, while a good amount of men haven't been trained to do so. While, yes, most men do seek a partner at some point in their lives, on average, they never have and never will consume that much love-based media. After all, they have sci-fi and thrillers, which are seen as “manly” and suited for male audiences. This highlights the unfortunate fact that when things start to be too connected to women and femininity, men tend to lose interest almost as a whole. This can also be seen in sports, where dance and gymnastics are seen as too feminine for most men, or when things as mundane as skincare and makeup are completely disregarded by men because they don’t want to be looked down upon as too “girly” or “gay” by other male peers.

Emotional unavailability and unintelligence are other recurring problems, especially for the current teenagers and young adults of Gen Z. Deemed a “nonchalant crisis” by a good friend (Ava Baker, 11), Gen Z is currently facing the largest amount of loneliness out of any past generation. This mostly stems from the fact people aren't willing to commit to each other, settling for so-called “situationships” that defy true love. These situationships are built upon the foundations of emotional unavailability, creating uneasiness and a lack of the necessary physiological safety that relationships give. Additionally, the “nonchalant crisis” steers people away from asking others out and giving love a real shot. The characteristic demonstrates a lack of worry or concern for a partner and people in general, thus exemplifying emotional intelligence. Unfortunately, this is mostly apparent in male populations, giving the illusion to women that men won’t be as caring. However, Gen Z is pointing out this so-called crisis via social media, such as TikTok, where people share their experiences with the masses.

Together these things exhibit the toxic atmosphere of dating in modern society. However, through addressing these problems, possible solutions can be constructed. While most of these points highlight male-oriented problems within the realms of romance, women too must fix their problems. Love is an essential part of life, whether romantic or not, and people should be able to experience it. Yet, it is clear from current trends and unrefuted evidence that romance is declining and most people will not receive the unrealistic love they yearn for.